The Grandparent’s Guide to Using Video Calls (Simplified)

Key Takeaways 💡

• Is video calling actually good for my health? Yes — research published in peer-reviewed journals shows that regular video and phone communication measurably reduces loneliness and social isolation in older adults, both of which are classified by the CDC as serious public health risks.
• What’s the easiest app to start with? If you have an iPhone or iPad, FaceTime requires no setup whatsoever — it’s already there. If your family uses different phones, WhatsApp works on everything.
• Do I need to be “good at technology”? No. The best apps for seniors require only two or three taps to start a call. Most grandparents master this within one or two tries.
• What if I can’t hear or see the screen well? There are specific devices and settings designed for hearing loss and vision impairment — and most are completely free to adjust on your existing device.
• How often should I video call my grandchildren? Any frequency is better than none, but consistency matters more than duration. A brief weekly call beats a long monthly one for relationship depth.
• Can video calling actually replace in-person visits? No — but research shows it is genuinely the next-best thing, and for grandchildren, it still builds recognition, language development, and emotional security.
• What if my grandchild looks bored or distracted during calls? That’s completely normal and has nothing to do with how much they love you. There are specific activities proven to hold their attention during calls.

😰 Why So Many Grandparents Give Up on Video Calls After the First Try — And Why That’s Totally Understandable

Let’s start where most guides are too polite to go: the first video call experience for most grandparents is genuinely bad. The screen is too small, nobody told you where to look, the voice cuts in and out, and your grandchild turns and runs off camera after 45 seconds. You put the phone down feeling more disconnected than before you started.

This isn’t a failure of intelligence or adaptability. This is a design problem. Most video calling technology was built by people in their 20s and 30s for people in their 20s and 30s. And the way most families “teach” grandparents to use it — under time pressure, from far away, over the phone — almost guarantees frustration.

Age-related sensorial, physical, and cognitive declines are often reported as a barrier to acquiring new technology skills. Additionally, older age is frequently related to lower levels of confidence, comfort, and self-efficacy, as well as higher levels of technology anxiety.

And here is something genuinely important that most people get completely wrong: technology anxiety in older adults is not irrational. The consequences of pressing the wrong button feel much higher when you don’t know what it will do. Younger people have been pressing wrong buttons since childhood and learned not to worry. Grandparents learned on a world where you didn’t recover from mistakes so easily. That history is real, and it shapes the experience.

The good news: once you understand that the anxiety itself is the actual barrier — not the technology — the solution becomes obvious. You don’t need more instructions. You need a slower pace, smaller steps, and someone patient enough to go through the experience alongside you.

📱 FaceTime vs. WhatsApp vs. Zoom: Which One Should You Actually Use?

This is one of the most genuinely confusing things families deal with, because the “best” app depends entirely on who else is using it — not on any feature list. Here’s how to think about this clearly.

FaceTime remains one of the easiest options if everyone is in the Apple ecosystem. It comes pre-installed on iPhones and iPads, and calls are seamless and high quality. WhatsApp is one of the most widely used apps in the world and allows up to 32 people on one video call, along with screen-sharing.

The single most important thing to understand: you should use whatever your family already uses most. The best app is the one they’ll actually pick up and answer. Here is what each option genuinely means for you as a grandparent, without the technical marketing language:

FaceTime is the video call app that comes built into every iPhone and iPad before you even turn it on. You don’t download it. You don’t create an account. If you have an Apple device and so do your children or grandchildren, you simply tap their name in your contacts and press the green camera button. That’s it. The downside: it doesn’t work if your family member has an Android phone.

WhatsApp solves the “different phones” problem. It works on iPhones, Android phones, and computers — meaning it doesn’t matter what device your grandchild or their parents use. Once it’s set up (which takes one family member about five minutes to help with), you call the same way every time: tap their name, tap the video camera icon. The entire interface is designed around simplicity.

Zoom is most useful for calling multiple family members at once — like a virtual family dinner or a group birthday call. Free Zoom calls are limited to 40 minutes, but the platform allows up to 100 people, making it excellent for larger family gatherings. The catch is that someone in the family (usually not the grandparent) has to set up the meeting and share a link. As a grandparent, you’d simply tap a link sent to you, which is genuinely easier than it sounds.

👀 Your Grandchild Is on Screen and Gone in 90 Seconds — Here’s What No One Tells You

This is the single most disheartening part of video calling for grandparents, and it’s almost never addressed honestly. You’ve set up the call, you’re smiling, and then your four-year-old grandchild squirms off the chair and disappears behind a couch while their parent chases them.

This is not a reflection of your relationship. This is developmental biology.

Young children — particularly under age seven — simply don’t have the neurological capacity to sit still for an abstract social obligation, even with someone they deeply love. If your preschool-aged grandchild FaceTimes all of 15 seconds with you and then heads off to another activity, that’s normal. If your teenage grandson doesn’t call back or respond to your text right away, that’s also normal.

The research actually has a beautiful solution to this problem, and it’s one almost no guide mentions: bring something to show them. A 2024 study published in the Journal of Children and Media found something remarkable about grandparent-grandchild video chats. Findings suggest that including videos and pictures during video chat may promote rich interactions between grandparents and grandchildren. Grandparents were eager conversational participants, primarily using statements and questions when interacting with their grandchildren, and they facilitated meaningful dialogic interactions about 26% of the time when engaging with shared media.

In plain English: when you hold up something to show — a photo, a funny object from around the house, a drawing you’ve made — the child’s attention locks in. Their brain switches from “I’m supposed to sit here and talk” to “what is that thing?”

🔊 What to Do When You Can’t Hear Well, See the Screen, or Hold the Phone Steady

This is the section that can genuinely change everything for grandparents who’ve decided video calling “isn’t for them” because of physical challenges. Every major accessibility issue has a specific, often free solution — and most families don’t know to suggest them because they’ve never needed them.

For hearing difficulties: The number-one tip experts give is to use a tablet instead of a phone. The speaker on a tablet — like an iPad — is dramatically louder and clearer than a phone speaker. Beyond that, every iPhone and iPad has a hidden accessibility feature called “RTT” (Real-Time Text) that displays a live transcript of what’s being said on your screen during a call, so you can read along while watching. To activate it, go into Settings, tap Accessibility, and look for RTT. Approximately 38% of Medicare beneficiaries are unprepared for video telehealth due to technological inexperience — but hearing-related difficulty is often the deeper, unaddressed cause behind that number.

For vision challenges: Every phone and tablet has text size settings that can be increased dramatically. On an iPhone, go to Settings, then Display & Brightness, then Text Size. Slide it to the largest option. You can also enable “Display Zoom” which makes every button and icon on the screen physically larger. Additionally, placing your device in a tablet stand — an inexpensive purchase — lets you prop it at eye level rather than holding it up, which resolves both arm fatigue and screen visibility issues at once.

For trembling hands or arthritis: A phone stand or a simple tablet holder solves this completely. You set the device in the stand, tap the call button, and never have to hold the device again. Voice commands — saying “Hey Siri, FaceTime [name]” on an iPhone — mean you don’t even have to tap the screen to start a call.

💻 The Device That Makes Everything Easier That Most Grandparents Haven’t Heard Of

Most families assume the choice is between a smartphone, a tablet, or a computer. But there is a fourth category of device that was built specifically for this problem, and it works in a fundamentally different way: the smart display, specifically the Amazon Echo Show.

The Amazon Echo Show is a screen with a camera built into the front. It sits on a counter like a small television. To make a video call to a grandchild, you say out loud: “Alexa, call [grandchild’s name].” That’s the entire process. You don’t touch anything. You don’t tap anything. The device recognizes your voice, finds the contact, and starts the call. You sit in your chair and talk to the screen from across the room.

For seniors who are not very tech-savvy, the Amazon Echo Show is a strong choice because it is voice-activated, meaning drop-in calling options can start calls automatically — which can be especially helpful for seniors who have memory issues or other limitations.

The device costs between $90 and $250 depending on screen size, and it requires a one-time setup by a family member or a local tech store. After that, a grandparent who has never touched a smartphone in their life can be video calling their grandchildren within 24 hours. This is not an exaggeration.

🧠 The Surprising Brain Science Behind Why Video Calls Are Actually Good for You

Here’s what makes this guide different from every other “how to FaceTime your grandkids” article: the science of what video calls actually do inside your body is genuinely remarkable, and it goes far beyond “it’s nice to see familiar faces.”

Research comparing phone versus video communication in older adults found that both telephone and video interactions significantly improved loneliness and social isolation. Both types of communication showed statistically significant positive effects across multiple loneliness scales when compared to a control group with no structured communication.

The mechanism works through your brain’s social engagement circuitry. When you see a face — especially a loved one’s face — your brain releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone. This doesn’t happen just from hearing a voice on the phone. The visual component of a video call triggers a neurochemical response that a phone call simply cannot. That’s not sentiment — it’s neuroscience.

Technologies including email, social networking sites, videoconferencing, and mobile instant messaging apps have been shown to improve self-rated health and lower the incidence of loneliness, chronic illnesses, and depressive symptoms in older adults. They also supplement the social benefits of physical interactions by reinforcing existing connections.

And there’s a reciprocal benefit for the grandchildren that most research overlooks. Studies consistently show that the grandparent-grandchild bond is the second-strongest family bond that exists — research tells us that the bond between grandparent and grandchild is second only to the bond between parent and child. Every video call, even a brief one, is feeding and sustaining that bond across whatever distance separates you.

📅 The Weekly Video Call Habit That Actually Works (Most People Skip This Step)

The single biggest predictor of whether a grandparent successfully integrates video calling into their life is not the app they choose, the device they use, or how many tutorials they watch. It is whether the calls happen on a schedule.

Ad-hoc calling — where you call when you feel like it and hope they pick up — fails for very predictable reasons. It interrupts unpredictably. It requires confidence to initiate. It makes every call feel like a test. And when someone doesn’t answer, it stings in a way that makes you less likely to try again.

A standing weekly call removes all of that friction. Every Tuesday at 4 p.m., everyone knows what’s happening. The parents have prepared the children. The grandparent has thought of something to show or say. Nobody is caught off-guard. The call doesn’t have to be long — even ten or fifteen minutes of consistent weekly contact builds relationship depth that a monthly hour-long call cannot match.

Studies consistently show high levels of engagement with social media and communication platforms across virtually every country studied. One of the critical benefits for families is these platforms’ ability to help preserve close relationships despite physical distance. When family members live far apart, these platforms offer an important way to stay in touch, share updates, and experience significant moments together in real time.

The other habit that grandparents consistently underestimate: having something specific to say or show. The call where you ask “so, how’s school?” and get “fine” and then sit in silence is not a failure of the relationship — it’s a failure of structure. Before each call, think of one thing: one photo to show, one story from your week, one question about something they specifically care about.

🛡️ The Video Call Safety Tips Nobody Mentions (But Should)

This section matters more than most families realize, because scammers specifically target older adults through video technology — and knowing the signs is your best protection.

The FBI consistently reports that older Americans are disproportionately targeted by video-based scams. The most common: someone contacts you claiming to be a grandchild in trouble (“Grandma, it’s me, I’m in jail, don’t tell mom”), uses a video clip or AI-generated voice, and asks for emergency money. The rule is simple: if anyone on video asks for money — even someone who looks and sounds like a family member — hang up and call that family member directly on their regular phone number to verify.

A second important boundary: you should only video call using contacts your family has set up for you. Never accept a video call from a number you don’t recognize. Never share your screen during a video call with someone you don’t know. And never download an app because a caller told you to — only install apps with help from a trusted family member in person.

Beyond scams, internet security for video calls is simpler than most people think. All the major video calling apps — FaceTime, WhatsApp, Zoom, and Google Meet — use end-to-end encryption, which means your calls are automatically private and secure. You don’t need to do anything special to enable this. Apple FaceTime offers end-to-end encryption and secure video calls, and WhatsApp’s security matches FaceTime’s encryption standards while adding flexibility for mixed-device families.

🎉 The Best “Go-To” Activities to Do During a Video Call (That Both of You Will Love)

One of the most underused aspects of video calling is that you don’t have to just talk. In fact, doing something together during a video call is often more connecting than pure conversation — especially with younger grandchildren and with grandparents who find unstructured conversation draining.

The American Academy of Pediatrics notably does not classify grandparent video calls as “screen time” for children — because the interaction is social, contingent, and reciprocal. As Dr. Christakis, Director of the Center of Child Health, Behavior and Development at Seattle Children’s Hospital noted, video chatting can enhance bonding and recognition in a way that fundamentally differs from passive screen use.

Here are activities that work beautifully over video, organized by grandchild age:

For young grandchildren (2–7 years): Read a picture book aloud while holding it up to the camera. Sing a song together. Play a simple version of peek-a-boo by hiding behind your hand on screen. Show them something from your kitchen or garden. Let them show you their toys. The key is immediate visual engagement — give their eyes something to track.

For older grandchildren (8–14 years): Play 20 questions, trivia, or “two truths and a lie.” Watch a short video together and discuss it. Help with a homework project. Teach them a recipe while you cook it together (you in your kitchen, them in theirs — separately but parallel). Share old family photos and the stories behind them.

For adult grandchildren: These calls can simply be conversations — but they deepen dramatically when they include a purpose: planning a family event, sharing a memory, discussing something in the news, or simply checking in with genuine curiosity about their lives.

🔑 The One-Page Cheat Sheet Every Grandparent Should Keep Next to Their Device

The best systems are the ones that remove friction at the moment of use. Print this section (or have a family member print it) and tape it near wherever you keep your phone or tablet.

Starting a FaceTime call on iPhone or iPad: Open the green phone app. Tap the contact’s name. Tap the camera icon. Done.

Starting a WhatsApp video call: Open the app. Tap the contact’s name. Tap the camera icon at the top right. Done.

Starting an Alexa call (Echo Show): Say “Alexa, call [name].” Done.

Answering any incoming video call: When the screen lights up and rings, tap the green camera or phone icon. If it says “Accept,” tap that.

If something goes wrong during the call: Tap the red button to end it, then try calling back. Almost every technical problem resolves with a simple reconnection.

If you can’t hear: Tap the volume buttons on the side of your device (the physical buttons on the edge) to turn the volume up.

If your face looks dark: Move toward a window or turn on the room light facing you.

The bottom line is this: video calling is not about technology. It’s about your grandchildren growing up knowing your face, your laugh, your stories. Every call you make — even a short, imperfect one where someone runs out of frame — is a deposit into the bank of relationship that will outlast any phone model or app update. The science is clear that staying visually connected reduces your own risk of isolation and cognitive decline. The research on grandchildren is equally clear: your presence in their lives, even through a screen, shapes who they become. One call a week. One thing prepared to say or show. That’s the entire strategy. The technology, honestly, is the easy part.